Monday, April 1, 2013

Stop Punishing School Bullies

We need to stop punishing bullies.Bullying is a highly charged topic. If your child is the target of bullying behavior, it is even more upsetting. The tendency is to want the bullying person punished.

The majority of anti-bullying programs in schools revolve around treating the child exhibiting bullying behavior like a criminal. They attach the label, "bully," to the student. Justice must be swift and severe to prevent future instances of similar behavior. The target of the bullying is treated like a victim and often receives special counselling to make them feel better.

Unfortunately, these programs are failing miserably. The popular Olweus program is a documented failure in United States schools.

We need to stop punishing bullies and molly-coddling "victims." A recent article asks the question, "Is Suspension the Way to Punish School Bullies?" Several middle school boys who bullied a bus monitor have been suspended for a year. After their suspension, they will be sent to an alternative school. That is, a school for junior criminals.

Truly, their behavior was unacceptable, but by labeling them as criminals (even though they are not criminally charged), is not going to help these students. I would venture these are normal everyday kids. Kids that have friends, families that love them and live honestly.

But now, they have been labelled and ostracized. Certainly that will not help these students grow into kind mature adults, but rather create in them bitterness and anger that will help to mold their future personalities. They have been removed from their friends and are losing a year of school.

Would it not be better to identify bullying behavior and discuss the behavior with the student? Teach them to have empathy for others. Teach them ways to channel anger or resentment in ways that do not inflict harm or distress to others. Maybe find out what triggered the behavior, so in the future, the student can identify those triggers and respond in a better way.

Criminal acts need to be treated as such, but name calling and intimidation shouldn't result in students being labelled and removed from society. Give these kids the tools to thrive not only with friends and family, but with those that are different from them. Rather than removing these kids from society, we need to find ways to better integrate them.

And students who are targeted need to learn how to respond in ways that are positive. Although we don't want to blame the target, we should look to see if there is something that student is doing that brings them undesirable attention. We need to give students the tools they need to avoid and handle bullying behavior.

Programs like "Don't Play The Bully Game" and Izzy Kalman's "Bullies To Buddies" offer schools and students better ways to handle student behavior than the "snitch and punish" programs currently the vogue.

Dr. Dennis Regling is the author of "Everything I Need To Know About Bullies, I Learned In Prison; A Politically Incorrect Guide To Surviving High School."
He has presented his bully programs and his magic of science programs in over 1400 schools in 28 states.

Source: http://articles.submityourarticle.com/stop-punishing-school-bullies-323234

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